tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5719402426266353058.post8357945665238048385..comments2023-07-27T01:07:21.923-07:00Comments on quite unexpectedly: Spiteful words can hurt your feelings but silence breaks your heart.Lisbethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15340591044762379717noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5719402426266353058.post-84673997391811095972014-02-04T14:48:28.851-08:002014-02-04T14:48:28.851-08:00I know your pain.
This was some time ago, so I d...I know your pain. <br />This was some time ago, so I don't know where your heart is now, but I hope you have been able to accept the pain, and let it heal you. And that you have released the anger, and kept the tender caring heart that allowed you to love well enough to feel this much hurt.<br />That is where I am- walking that road of pain, and sorrow, and compassion. I'm in the midst of it.<br />The choices the ones we love make can hurt us more than we could ever imagine, and they often hurt them more than they will ever be willing to see. But if we are willing to look and understand, we know why they make them: They want to be loved. <br />We want them to receive it from us, but they won't. They choose someone, or something else, and it cuts us to the core of our being. The emotional pain is very physically real. But, it hurts because we love them, and not loving them- being angry or bitter- doesn't end the pain, it changes it into something insidious. Something evil that infects our soul.<br />We don't have to approve of their choices to love them, and we can recognize that they may never let themselves see that love. But that doesn't mean we have to kill our Selves (spiritually, emotionally, or physically) to spite them. To show them. <br />We can only live the life that WE live. We can't choose for them, even though we'd like to at times. But, love (real love that comes from and through the heart and soul, and not just attraction, or infatuation, or excitement- those are so often what our loved ones chase after thinking it will bring them happiness) is always a choice. We hurt because we chose to love on who chose not to, but that doesn't make ours an incorrect choice. <br />Every love will hurt because every person is imperfect. There is no "the one" for any one of us. Every potential pairing of two people on earth could last a lifetime if each can learn to love and accept the other as they should be. To understand their heart, and not just how their actions hurt mine. But, both have to learn this. It takes two to make a relationship last, but only one to break it.<br />Forgiveness is love.<br />Grace is love.<br />Understanding is love.<br />Blind affirmation and acceptance is not love- it is not loving to approve of every choice and action. True love wants what is REALLY best for the loved one, not what they think they want most, or that which brings the most immediate happiness.<br />So then: love, hope, pray, and long lovingly for that which is best for the one you love. Then, you have to let them go. Let them live their own life, and make their own choices, for better or worse. You can't control them, because that isn't loving either. <br />You may choose to keep the door open until they come back- as long as that may take- or you may need to close that door, so that you can heal in a certain way. But either way, you can still love them.<br />Forgive, and love.<br />I pray you have learned this already, and that you don't mind my saying this here. I am really speaking to myself. I have to continuously remind myself to choose to love the one who has hurt me so deeply. But, making that choice- and feeling compassion for her heart, even though I am filled with sorrow (my own, and for her) for her decisions- gets a little easier every time I make it. A little more natural.The Big Mikehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09351567760117758640noreply@blogger.com