Tuesday, 23 February 2010

Withnail and I quotes

"I want something's flesh!"
- Withnail and I

“I don't know, I don't know. Oh God, I don't feel good. Look, my thumbs have gone weird! I'm in the middle of a bloody overdose. Oh God. My heart's beating like a fucked clock! I feel dreadful, I feel really dreadful!”

“I don't advise a haircut, man. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Hairs are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos, and transmit them directly into the brain. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.”

“Free to those that can afford it, very expensive to those that can't.”

“I feel like a pig shat in my head.”

“Don't threaten me with a dead fish.”

“We want the finest wines available to humanity. And we want them here, and we want them now!”

“I must have some booze. I demand to have some booze.”

“I could hardly piss straight for fear.”

“Right, here's the plan. First, we go in there and get wrecked, then we eat a pork pie, then we drop some Surmontil-50's each. That way we'll miss out on Monday and come up smiling Tuesday morning.”

“I'm going to pull your head off, because I don't like your head.”

“Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day, and for once I'm inclined to believe Withnail is right. We are indeed drifting into the arena of the unwell.”

“I have a heart condition. If you hit me, it's murder.”

“This place has become impossible. Nothing to eat, freezing cold and now a madman on the prowl outside with eels.”

“-Those are the kind of windows faces look in at.”

“These aren't accidents! They're THROWING themselves into the road gladly! THROWING themselves into the road to escape all this hideousness! Throw yourself into the road, darling! You haven't got a chance!”

“A coward you are, Withnail. An expert on bulls you are not”

“I must say, that represents a level of hypocrisy in you that I'd previously suspected, but not noticed due to highly evasive skills.”

“Speed is like a dozen transatlantic flights without ever getting off the plane. Time change. You lose, you gain. Makes no difference so long as you keep taking the pills. But sooner or later you've got to get out because it's crashing, and then all at once the frozen hours melt out through the nervous system and seep out the pores.”

“I have just narrowly avoided having a buggering, and have come in here with the express intention of wishing one upon you.”

“Nonsense. This is a far superior drink to meths. The wankers don't drink it because they can't afford it.”

“We've gone on holiday by mistake.”

“Give me a Valium, I’m getting the FEAR!”

“Politics man. If you're hanging on to a rising balloon, you're presented with a difficult decision: let go before it's too late, or hold on and keep getting higher. Posing the question, how long can you keep a grip on the rope?”

“There must and shall be aspirin!”

“How dare you. How DARE you!”

“You can stuff it up your arse for nothing and fuck off while you're doing it!”


“How can it be so cold in here? It's like Greenland in here. We've got to get some booze. It's the only solution to this intense cold. Something's got to be done. We can't go on like this. I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum. I mean look at us! Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights! No fridges, no televisions, no phones. Much more of this and I'm going to apply for meals on wheels.”

“I've got a bastard behind the eyes.”

“I have of late - but wherefore I know not - lost all my mirth; and indeed it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory, this most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why, it appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours. What a piece of work is a man! How noble in reason! How infinite in faculties! How like an angel in apprehension. How like a god! The beauty of the world! The paragon of animals! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me: no, nor women neither. Nor women neither.”

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