Monday, 31 May 2010

Choices and voices

I feel a terrible sense of guilt for not going swimming for three days. I don't have any intention to act on it, to go walking for miles or to cut back on calories, but it's there, in the background, taunting me.

However much I need to lose the weight and however much I am determinded to go about it in a healthy way, I guess I have to realise that I am in some ways always going to be vulnerable to that eating disordered voice.

And being aware of what is that voice and what are rational, healthy, normal feelings is fucking hard.

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