Tuesday 18 May 2010

To be a poet is a condition, not a profession

"Poetry is a mirror which makes beautiful that which is distorted."
- Percy Shelley

I just received one of the best compliments of my life from a complete stranger;

“I like your poetry- it’s original which is rare”

I have always been desperate to have my own voice, my own style and to not be a complete and utter cliche and the fact that someone who doesn’t know me (and therefore doesn’t know about my hideous self-esteem and be inclinded to overcompliment or reassure me) means more than I could possible express even with the entire English Language at my disposel.

I feel validated as a writer when people tell me they like something I’ve wrote and especially when people tell me that it’s moved them or touched them in some way and espeically if people tell me that it’s unusual or unique or different. If people say that it’s MY OWN.

I probably sound like the most pretentious twat on the planet by saying all this but really, I am not arrogant in anyway, I am not even falsely modest. I have genuine, deep-seated insecurities that stop me from feeling pride, or like anything I do is good enough. So when people come along and say ‘hey Em, you’re doing a good job’ it’s incredibly hard to accept it and sit with it and not double guess it.

But today, I am just going to sit and smile and feel…. Dare I say it? Accomplished and proud of myself.

For writing.

Not for starving and losing weight and being generelly fucked-up and mental.

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