Friday, 27 May 2011

Is it just me or...

So I had my first appointment with the new psychiatrist (old one's got a new job) earlier and it's tipped me off balance quite a lot.

I made the decision to be honest, and I think that always makes things worse when things don't turn out that well because you end up thinking what's the fucking point! But anway, he's a he, and it took me a lot of courage to say that the flashbacks, anxiety and related dissociation/seeing stuff is playing up.

He gave me 'two solutions'

1) Put more preassure on yourself to do the things that make you anxious (I do this ALL THE TIME, seriously, I fight like Hell to just get on with things)

2) Let go of the past, you need to move on to today

Is it just me or is that second one completely off the map?

All day I've felt completely pathetic, wanting to give up rape counselling because I should be 'getting on with today'...

I don't want to see him ever again but I'm scared that if I say anything to my CPN about this then she's going to think that I'm overeacting or just being fussy.

I don't know if I am just overeacting and being fussy...

oh, and he touched my face which completely freaked me out....

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