I am so close to going and sitting in the middle of the road or from jumping off a bridge or in front of a train.

A girl who I was close with last year has been admitted to the crisis house, we went out for a few beers and she started telling the person that she was talking to her that I'd 'also been raped.'

I can't fucking cope.

I have twice gone into the bathroom with the intention of cutting myself to bits but resisted. I can't ring the crisis team because they make everything worse.

I don't want to fucking life anymore but that means jack shit because I am a maniuplative borderline.

I just want to die.