Friday, 20 August 2010

When the first cup of coffee tastes like washing up

Everything still feels so fucking useless
Feel desperate and paranoid and anxious and unsafe but no-one gives a fuck
I can't stop my head filling with violent and terrifying images
Talked to a doctor today and it was a waste of time, didn't give me any medication or anything or even seem to give a shit about anything I had to say
Calling the crisis team is a waste of time
Feel so fucking lost
I saw Sylthia (the private pyschotherapist) and she is a completely gorgeous person and I'm definately going to see her again but she's just someone to talk to and work things out with
And the rest of it just seems like a huge pile of crap
That they're all plotting against me and telling lies behind my back and they want me to kill myself
I feel like I'm the verge of something awful

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