Saturday, 5 February 2011

There's no point in turning round

Uni have sent me another letter asking for £800 in 14 days
I am not going to pay it but that's not the point
I don't have the money for a start
They can take me to court
I don't care anymore
I am so angry about how this has all turned out
I went through the proper channels
Officially 'interrupted my studies' instead of just dropping out
And all I get in return is constant demands for money

I don't want to go back anymore
I feel so betrayed
They made no effort to help me out before I left
They made no allowances for my condition
Despite the fact that they promised me the fucking moon before I started
Why should I comply to them?
When they did bugger all to make things better for me

I know that this sounds reckless and stupid and childish
But I'm going to ignore them from now on
Rip the letters up
If they want to take legal action against me then they can just fucking well do it
I don't have a savings
I will properly not even get benefits once the cuts and reassesments kick in
I will literally have no money
What can they fucking do!?

I can't cope with shit like this
I feel like everything is fucking collapsing around me
Out of control
Like life has decided to throw shitbricks at me constantly
I don't care anymore
What is the point in striving to make a better life for yourself
When all it does is course stress and worry

I don't want to keep fighting for things
Trying to normalise my life
To live in the real world rather than the mental health world
But fuck it
I can't do it anymore
I can't cope with the real world
I've given it my best shot, I really have
But I don't want to do it anymore

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