Sunday 13 June 2010

It's all this cold-hearted fucking that is death and idiocy


“That's the whole trouble. You can't ever find a place that's nice and peaceful, because there isn't any. You may think there is, but once you get there, when you're not looking, somebody'll sneak up and write "Fuck you" right under your nose.”
- J. D. Salinger

Friday was pretty shit. I got kicked out of the bar that I go to ALL THE TIME because I only had my student ID and not my passport on me, she wouldn't give us the money back for our round of drinks and started threatening me so I went a bit mental at her and now I'm barred from town, apparantly. Fuck it, I'll be back in Leicester in a couple of months... I didn't handle the aftermath that well and ended up taking a shitload of Valium and drinking myseldf stupid for the first time in a month... <_<

I haven't been swimming since Thursday so I'm hoping that when I go back tomorrow I won't feel so compulsive about pushing myself to the limit. I feel terrible about it but I know that it's better to feel like that than get caught up in it...

I started to feel like it was going over my head a bit so yeah, take a break and try again?

This would be so much bloody easier if I was a healthy weight. Then I wouldn't have that knowledge that I 'need' to lose weight hanging over my head.

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